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WhatGives!? Polling Exclusive

WhatGives!? Polling Exclusive

I have Election Fever.

I spend my free time creating electoral map scenarios. My inbox is a constant barrage of fowarded articles, blogs, polling data, YouTube videos and general commentary about the election and the candidates. I wake up, watch political shows and read the news. I come home from work, watch political shows and finish reading the news I didn't get to in the morning. I reluctantly fall asleep, (to the sweet lullaby of bickering campaign spokepeople) only to wake up and do it again.

So In honor of tomorrow's election, I would like to bring you a WhatGives!? Polling Exclusive.

WhatGives!? is ready to announce a win for the McCain/Palin ticket in the key demographic of...5-year-old girls.

WhatGives!?, considered by some to be the next Gallup, came to this crucial conclusion largely by way of the Cabbage Patch Candidates' Auction for Toys for Tots. The McCain/Palin ticket is trouncing the Obama/Biden campaign with a combined auction price of $11,525, while Obama/Biden are only bringing in $5,233,

With this key demographic, Sarah Palin seems to be the drawing factor - her doll alone bringing $9,800 of the current auction price. 5-year-old Kaylie from Sandusky, Ohio says, "She has better clothes, and I like to play with her hair."

Of course, this stunning revelation leaves the all-male, suit-wearing, follically-challenged Obama/Biden campaign at an extreme disadvantage. Democrats are scrambling to make up ground and second guessing themselves along the way. One senior-level campaign advisor, who spoke on the condition of anonymity, confessed, "I can't help but wonder if we'd be in this same position if Hillary had won the nomination."

Pantsuits? Unlikely.

What does this all mean? Absolutely nothing; in this country, 5-year-olds can't vote.

But (presumably) you can. So find your polling place and get out and VOTE! Forgot to register? Under the Help American Vote Act of 2002, you are entitled to cast a provisional ballot. So no excuses!
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TAGS: obama, biden, election 2008, mccain, palin, cabbage patch

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