Dating's not easy. There are first dates and awkward pauses and not being able to read his mind. What did he mean when he said that thing about Putt-Putt? We get plenty of advice about Mars and Venus and why he just might not be that into me, but when it all boils down, isn't it just about finding the right opposite to attract?
I think Lady Bird Johnson hung the moon, but for three mostly happy years I dated a dyed-in-red Republican. There were so many big differences, we actually made a list of the things we agreed on...and hung it on the refrigerator. But politics didn't break us up -- timing and geography took their toll.
I consider myself a pretty environmentally friendly kinda gal. I buy locally. I recycle. I (reluctantly) use cold for my laundry. But I'm no Julia Butterfly. Could a die-hard environmentalist look past my SUV and see my good heart? How do vegans and carnivores eat dinner together every night? Cooking for more than one is such a perk! Sure, compromise is key, but it's hard to imagine spending my life with someone who won't ever try my pot roast. (And yes, I know in this scenario my imaginary vegan boyfriend is, environmentally-speaking, clearly in the right.) What are the do-good deal-breakers when it comes to relationships?
Comments
so it's not like I'm going to get any less (is there a number lower than zero) dates for this statement, but...I'm fine with everyone "sticking to their guns" when it comes to decisions/stands based on "passion". You must be passionate to do a lot of things, strictly diet, living in a tree, etc. The one thing that is a deal breaker to me is when a person likes to throw their ideology/lifestyle on other people like it's a fleece. Your opinions are important to me, but they might not be important to my friends and family...especially if they didn't ask :)
APRIL 29 2008 AT 3:16 PM
Does dirty feet in bed count as a deal breaker? Or is that too small potatoes?
APRIL 29 2008 AT 3:38 PM
if you're catty about it, then no, its not small potatoes ;-)
APRIL 29 2008 AT 3:59 PM
In my experience, even when people seem to be polar opposites they actually have a lot of deep seeded ideals in common and those are what really attracts them to each other. Back when I was still dating I dated numerous carnivores but always found myself more attracted to the veggies; probably because this was something that meant a lot to me, so someone with this same belief was always more attractive to me psychologically. Now that my (vegetarian) wife and I are expecting our first kid, this is a value that matters even more to me and I also appreciate even more that I married someone with this same value. Once kids come into the picture, things get even more complicated with values that were compromised to try and make a relationship work (or easier for ones that weren't).
How's that for 2-cents? :)
APRIL 29 2008 AT 6:58 PM